right now i am going through that phaze in the breakup, where i torture myself, by finding little ways to hold on to him. Smelling a shirt he left behind, smelling the sheets and pillows, trying to breathe in whatever scent of him is left…and carry it to my soul. I dont want to forget his scent, I miss the way he smells.

I’m drinking out of his favorite coffee cup, watching all his favorite shows, sleeping on his side of the bed. All this stuff, torturing myself…trying to hold on to him, for as long as it will let me. Until his scent is gone, and i have to wash the sheets and clothes.

There is so much evidence that he lived here, that he once was happy with me, all the things he left behind were apart of “OUR” life, that we built together, but now only remain “things”. Things that dont have a meaning and just become material and no longer sentimental.

life looks lonely and depressing.

right now i am going through that phaze in the breakup, where i torture myself, by finding little ways to hold on to him. Smelling a shirt he left behind, smelling the sheets and pillows, trying to breathe in whatever scent of him is left…and carry it to my soul. I dont want to forget his scent, I miss the way he smells.

I’m drinking out of his favorite coffee cup, watching all his favorite shows, sleeping on his side of the bed. All this stuff, torturing myself…trying to hold on to him, for as long as it will let me. Until his scent is gone, and i have to wash the sheets and clothes.

There is so much evidence that he lived here, that he once was happy with me, all the things he left behind were apart of “OUR” life, that we built together, but now only remain “things”. Things that dont have a meaning and just become material and no longer sentimental.

life looks lonely and depressing.

here is a poem my ex wrote for me, one time when we broke up.

I hope he still happens to feel the same.

I miss him with all my heart!

THE HAUNTING

She walks in the shadows,
An angel of light,
haunting my dreams,
by day and by night.
Memories of her that cannot be shaken,
from my nightmare I wish to awaken
Oh, to see her face in the early morn,
but caused I have
only sorrow and scorn!
With tears of love and tears of sadness,
I wish upon wish to escape this madness.
Pain is all I gave to her,
for her acts of love so gentle and pure.
But in the end, Alone I shall be,
With thoughts of her
that cling to me.
Longing for her gentle kiss,
Time with her I will always miss

by David Bansbach.