everything smells like him…
right now i am going through that phaze in the breakup, where i torture myself, by finding little ways to hold on to him. Smelling a shirt he left behind, smelling the sheets and pillows, trying to breathe in whatever scent of him is left…and carry it to my soul. I dont want to forget his scent, I miss the way he smells.
I’m drinking out of his favorite coffee cup, watching all his favorite shows, sleeping on his side of the bed. All this stuff, torturing myself…trying to hold on to him, for as long as it will let me. Until his scent is gone, and i have to wash the sheets and clothes.
There is so much evidence that he lived here, that he once was happy with me, all the things he left behind were apart of “OUR” life, that we built together, but now only remain “things”. Things that dont have a meaning and just become material and no longer sentimental.
life looks lonely and depressing.
Oh honey! I wish I could be there to give you the biggest hug in the world right now! I know how much this must be hurting you - but maybe you should do exactly what you said - wash the sheets. The best way to move on, and to not torture yourself is to wash the smell of him away, throw his things away. You’ll never fully get over him, but, maybe you could try to get rid of him. Maybe it will help you end this torturing of yourself. I still don’t see how he can just walk away, just like that…
Comment by Teff — October 8, 2008 @ 8:15 am
*hugs* Yeah, I do know what you mean…
Comment by Simply Precious — October 9, 2008 @ 9:33 am